Humor

A Vegetarian Backslidden

By on Feb 12, 2017 in Featured, Fiction, Humor | 0 comments

On the seventh day God rested, so Sunday dinner was up to Lucifer. While chewing enthusiastically and explaining to his angels that, for much of the beginning of human history, his most confusing creation would believe their planet was not only flat but the center of the universe (to hearty chuckles all around) God ate in contentment. But, towards the end of the meal, the creator abruptly began to brood. Seeing his lord staring off,...

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Interior Monologue (Girl with Smart Phone)

By on Sep 25, 2016 in Featured, Humor, Poetry | Comments Off

Though it’s no mace, but cell phone in my hand, I’d like to favor you. But I’ve a slew of messages whose import countermand desires of my awestruck retinue who pass me with petitions on the street. Because of this, I claim the royal right to read my e-mail following a tweet to devotees while you keep me in sight. Indeed, not only are my hands not free, but texting makes it difficult to turn, acknowledging those holding doors for...

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Princess and the 21st Century Space-Age Mattress

By on Sep 25, 2016 in Featured, Fiction, Humor | Comments Off

Pete, my roommate, is a strikingly handsome guy; he’s tall, blonde, strong, jovial, and he’s equipped with what a girlfriend of mine once described as, “A face to die for.”  My girlfriend.  She said that about Pete, to me.  Thanks, honey. Pete’s got this problem, though.  Pete only dates crazy people.  I know what you’re thinking: “Women, am I right?”  No,...

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Barbarian Soiree

By on Sep 11, 2016 in Featured, Fiction, Humor | Comments Off

“Blessed are those servants whom the master finds awake when he comes.” – Luke: 12:37    I text my girlfriend: “Maybe the menus are carved in stone.” A sophisticate in the waiting area talks on his cell, and gapes at a meat slab on a rotating spit. A teenage boy with jeans tighter than a court jester’s leggings detaches from his phone and snorts as a meat-bearer—they call these guys “gauchos”—passes...

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Dear Mr. Shakespeare

By on May 10, 2015 in Fiction, Humor | Comments Off

Dear Mr. Shakespeare: Sir, some are convinced that your wisdom and creative genius are unsurpassed; others believe someone else is writing those so-called masterpieces that bear your name. To point 2 above, I say “Sir Francis Bacon? Christopher Marlowe?” To point 1, I say “Baloney!” I have waded through your most recent  bloodbath, Macbeth, which you recently proffered for publication. Having recovered from...

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The Truth About the Expulsion

By on Feb 23, 2015 in Cuttings, Fiction, Humor | Comments Off

An Address Delivered at the East Orange Women’s Conference First of all, I wanted to go. Adam was the one who wanted to stay. If it was up to him, we’d still be there, spending eternity in mind-numbing peace and tranquility, every day sunnier and cheerier than the previous. Sure, it was Paradise, but Paradise gets old real fast without any contrast. Besides, it wasn’t Paradise with a guy like Adam. Bloated with his First Man...

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