A Solitary Man

By on Oct 21, 2012 in Fiction, Humor

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House at night with UFO

Leegar appeared in the doorway from the basement. “You are fortunate to have us,” he said firmly. He was all business, different from Nineed and his apparent compulsion to explain things. “You should be pleased with the opportunity our presence confers.”

What opportunity? Louis wanted to scream. “This is rape of some kind!” he managed to sputter, though he was dimly aware that this term did not exactly describe the situation.

“Do not concern yourself,” said Nineed, not unkindly. “We will not be performing probes to your body openings. We will hopefully not be touching you at all.”

“How do I know you’re not planning to invade Earth and eat us or something?”

Nineed looked offended, his eyes actually appearing hurt. “We do not eat animals and most certainly would not risk contaminating ourselves with alien flesh!”

“Oh, so you consider me an animal?” snapped Louis. “And you didn’t answer the question about invasion!”

“If we wanted to invade, we could do it as easily as you could destroy a colony of ants. And yes, you and I are both animals. That does not rule out the idea of possessing interior energy forms, which you humans refer to as ‘souls.’ As for how are you to live normally, Louis, we selected you because you do not appear to be a social animal. You have not mated long term with anyone. You do not invite others to your residence for social interaction. We could hardly set up station in a busy, social family abode, now could we?”

“My sister drops by a lot,” Louis said desperately.

“By ‘a lot,’ I believe you are meaning once or twice one of your months? Let us face the truth, Louis. You are a solitary man.” For the first time, Nineed appeared to smile, if a stiff grimace could be called that. “A very solitary man,” he repeated.

Perversely, Louis’ sister stopped by the next day. He had risen that morning, refreshed in spite of the situation, and not knowing what else to do, gone off to school as usual. The basement door was closed, and he had eaten his breakfast normally, albeit with a nervous stomach. A Zantac and two Excedrin later, he was out the door. When he returned home at 4:30, Lorraine was seated at the kitchen table chopping vegetables for soup.

“Bill is in Washington, and the boys are at Mom’s,” she told him, “so I’m at loose ends. Why are your washer and drier in the spare room? And why did you put holes in the walls to accommodate them? Weren’t they fine in the basement?”

He darted into the spare room, took in the damage and ran back out, heart pounding and rage again building.

“You’re white as a sheet,” she told him.

“Um, there’s been some trouble in the basement,” he fumbled. “Electrical.”

“Oh?” said Lorraine, standing up and making for the basement door.

“DON’T GO DOWN THERE!” he commanded. “Very dangerous; no one is allowed!”

She backed off. “Okay, okay. You’re not looking well, Louis. Are you coming down with something?”

“I feel fine,” he mumbled, then added, “I sort of have a lot to do.”

“Don’t let me stand in your way,” said Lorraine, pulling a magazine from her colossal handbag. “I’ll just get the soup on and then settle back here with a cup of tea.”

Louis let out a hard blast of air and disappeared into his room to change his clothes. Lorraine pushed in his door without knocking and blurted, “There’s a funny hum coming from down there. Is the place going to blow up?”

“No, no,” he said, exasperated. “They’re down there working on it.”

“Oh, the electric company is here? I didn’t see their truck. Why didn’t you say so?”

The hum grew louder. Louis made a resolution to bring in the police, but he wasn’t sure how to go about it. What would he tell them? He could imagine their winks over his head and loud guffaws.

Lorraine didn’t leave till after eight, no matter how many hints he dropped. As soon as she was gone, he picked up the phone to call the cops. But before he had pressed three numbers, Leegar was on the line.

“We suggested to you already not to bring in the authorities, Louis. Do not cause me to come up there.”

Louis hung up, heart hammering. Damn that horrible person, thing, whatever he was. So unfriendly, so unlike the other one… not that he liked either of them. He was seized with terror when next day he dialed the cops from school and once again Leegar was on the line. How? Louis dropped the phone as if it were poison. What would they do, should he go to the police station in person? Something held him back.

They were quiet, at least he’d give them that. But what were they doing? Surely, if they were using his house, he had the right to know. Was he unwittingly contributing to the destruction of the world by allowing this to continue? Five times, he started down to the basement, determined to confront them, and each time Nineed or Leegar would appear at the bottom of the steps to warn him off with some excuse or other. “Not now, Louis,” one would say. “We are at a critical juncture.” Or some such blither.

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About

Margaret Karmazin’s credits include 140 stories published in literary and national magazines, including Rosebud, Chrysalis Reader, North Atlantic Review, Mobius, Confrontation, Pennsylvania Review and Another Realm. Her stories in The MacGuffin, Eureka Literary Magazine, Licking River Review and Words of Wisdom were nominated for Pushcart awards. Her story, "The Manly Thing," was nominated for the 2010 Million Writers Award. She has had stories included in Still Going Strong, Ten Twisted Tales, Pieces of Eight (Autism Acceptance), Zero Gravity, Cover of Darkness and M-Brane Sci-Fi Quarterlies #2 and #4, and a novel, Replacing Fiona, published by etreasurespublishing.com.