Warts and All (Or How I Lied to My Book Club)

By Ann Hite

To Kill A Mockingbird is the kind of novel that all good southern writers read before making their own long efforts. It's one of the books in the southern writers' bible. I'm sure you've heard of it. So, a writer born as about as deep in the south as one can get — Macon, Georgia — should have read this book, right? After all, she has invented a world of characters using folklore, emotion, and the downright southern history that inhabited her childhood. Of course she's read the book. Wrong. I'm ashamed to say I never read Harper Lee's To Kill A Mockingbird. I thought I had. I bragged I had read it, but the truth is, I would have gone on, living my lie blissfully, if not for leading a book club, who were reading this novel.

When several of the members asked for my feelings on the book, I racked my brain for one original thought not connected to the movie. After all, I'd made an "A" on the paper I wrote in high school. My only answer could be that I was so young when I read it, how in the world could I be expected to remember such a thing? I mean, how many books do you think I've read since high school?

Of course, I decided, I would read the book again. I needed to refresh my memory. I had a copy on my shelf gathering dust. I decided to lead the group in sections. We would discuss several chapters at a time. Our first assignment was chapters 1-7. Being the professional writer — with only a tiny affliction of OCD — I first did background research on the author, Harper Lee.

Up until that point, I had believed Harper Lee was dead. I'm not sure why I thought this, other than she doesn't get mentioned much anymore. That's what I get for thinking. My first hit in my Internet search took me to a recent Oprah magazine, where I found an article she had written about reading and writing real letters. She was alive and well. That should have been a sign that something in my memory stunk to the high heavens. If I didn't know Harper Lee was still alive, when I live right next door here in Georgia, how could I have read the book? How, indeed?

I read the first seven chapters, expecting to jog my memory. Instead, I was taken into another world, a world much older than the south I remembered as a child, but similar in so many ways. The voice was familiar, like listening to my great aunt telling stories in her big living room, sipping iced tea from a jelly jar, or like lazy evenings when I was kid, sitting in the front yard of my grandmother's house, watching the sky come alive with orange, red, and yellow. It was so hot — most houses didn't have air conditioning back then — the cooler evening air was welcome, even to a young girl with tons of energy.

When I read about Maudie, the lady who lived across the street from Scout in Maycomb, Alabama, I knew I'd never read this book. How could I forget such dialogue?

"Miss Maudie stopped rocking, and her voice hardened. 'You are too young to understand it,' she said, "but sometimes the Bible in the hand of one man is worse than a whiskey bottle in the hand of — oh, of your father.'"

For some reason I pictured a Cliff Note book thrown on the bed I slept in as a teenager. But I didn't read Cliff Notes! Not me, a writer to the bottom of my soul. Or did I?

I drowned myself in the rhythm of Harper Lee's language, as if I might die that night and never know the end to such a beautifully-written book. Maybe somehow things would change and Tom Robinson wouldn't die before he had a chance to find justice. Movies never follow the books accurately, right?

When I started — and finished — reading To Kill A Mockingbird, I was fifty years old, the same age as Atticus Finch, Scout and Jem's famously "old" father. What I gained from reading this book as a mature adult — without some English teacher forcing me — is both history and a reminder of a people nearly extinct now. Ms. Lee tamed my beloved south, with all its beauty and flaws, if only for two-hundred and eighty-one pages.

What did the women in the book club think of a leader who claimed to know a book she'd never read? Well, I never told them. I suppose when they read this, my guilty conscious will be cleared. And like one of my dear friends always says, "I love my friends deeply, warts and all."

The lessons in Harper Lee's writing are timeless. I am reminded she was a one-book author, but my gosh, people, look at the book! What did I learn from my experience? I learned that with older characters — like Atticus and me — we have to be given some allowance with our memories.