You Were My Summer

By Mariko Mesina

To You,

Right now it feels like you are a million miles away. Well, actually you’re in Brazil and I’m in Hawaii, but for exaggeration’s sake we will just say a million. We had an awesome summer, four years ago. Your brother was getting married to my childhood friend, and in all that wedding rush we still made time to hang out: all those late night chats and watching movies dubbed over in Spanish. You always knew what to say, whether it is good, bad, or extremely hilarious. At the wedding, you asked me to dance. I’m sorry I had to decline, but my boyfriend wouldn’t have agreed.

Now, you’re out living your life, and I wish I'd been more truthful at our good-bye. The last night you were here, there were so many things that I should have said, but I just filled the void with useless conversation. Instead of “You’re pretty cool,” I should have said, “I wish my boyfriend was as cool as you.” “Have a great school year” should have been “I wish you didn’t have to go.” I said, “I really had fun this summer,” but my heart was screaming, “You were my summer.” And “Keep in touch,” actually meant “I love you.”

If I didn’t have a boyfriend at the time, maybe those words would have been easier to say. Three broken hearts later, all I can think about is you. What kind of haircut do you have? What’s your favorite new movie? How is your band doing? Do you ever think of me?

So as I write these words, I hope that maybe, somehow, you’ll hear them.

— From Me