TV Quiz
(continued)
By Michael Hanson
6) In the tv series Alias, Secret Agent Sydney Bristol's most amazing feat is:
a. Keeping her true identity a secret.
b. Actress Jennifer Garner ditching real-life husband for hunky co-star.
c. Getting residuals "in perpetuity."
d. Other.
Answer: d. Other. Her ability to star in Daredevil and Catch
Me if You Can without getting fired from the TV show that made her.
7) In the tv series That 70's Show, the father, Red Forman, is best known for:
a. His impotence
b. Projectile vomiting
c. Shouting the word "dumbass!"
d. Other
Answer: d. Other. Being the #2 Villain in the film Robocop.
8) In the tv series Just Shoot Me, the character of Finch is:
a. A narcoleptic transvestite
b. A Songbird
c. A Dana Carvey wannabe
d. Other
Answer: d. Other. Just one more former SNL Castmember to get his own
TV show.
9) In the TV series Friends, the most unbelievable aspect of the show is the fact that:
a. A geek like Ross could find one, let alone three beautiful sexy women
who would want to marry him over a five-year span of time.
c. Monica is NOT a lesbian.
d. That in her previous experience as a homeless, single,
beautiful, slim, blonde woman in her 20's in New York City, Phoebe DIDN'T
become a call girl.
e. Other
Answer: e. Other. Rich Daddy's girls like Rachel never ever move out
on their own with anything short of a $500,000.00 trust fund, a brand
new Mercedes, and a sapphire replica of the Hope Diamond.
11) In the tv series Angel, the most annoying aspect of the show is the fact that:
a. Angel seems to be able to travel all around L.A. during the day,
even though he is a vampire and sunlight can kill him.
b. Every single demon and vampire who Angel has to fight just happens
to also be an expert in the Martial Arts.
c. Crosses and holy water burn vampires on contact, but consecrated ground
has no effect on them.
d. Other
Answer: d. Other. That no vampire in the history of the show has EVER
considered wearing an armoured "breast-plate" under their shirt
or jacket.
The test ends. Crib notes are tossed aside. The proctors known as "self-deception" and "egocentrism" tool with your mind.
So you didn't take notice of the blatant inconsistencies and ridiculous contradictions that are the backbone of your favorite TV show. So what? All that really matters is that you enjoyed and appreciated them as they aired the first time, thus establishing, for a mere 60 minutes, a group gestalt with five million other fans that is as startling in its implications as Carl Jung's theory of the collective unconscious.
You are not alone. Somewhere, out there, out in the real world, there are other couch potatos just like you. Millions of them. And 50% of them, like you, are men over the age of 20 who would not be caught dead admitting they watch Smallville.
The previews end. Angel is coming on.
You shred mozarella sticks and sip a fresh bottle of Dr. Pepper.
Life is good.
