Why can't I leave my feet alone? At night I pull at dead skin until it
peels to the red fruit below. If I were a child, I'd make myself wear
socks and moisturizing lotion until the problem healed. But I keep doing
it. What's bad is in the morning, the first few minutes of walking on
in Historic Philadelphia
A wide woman in a purple dress with such a big backside that it bounces
and jiggles when she walks. Like two over-inflated balloons. How does
she see herself?
A shiny blonde
teen sitting awkwardly between the spread legs of a caramel-skinned older
man. A young man sits right next to them, one hand intimately resting
on the caramel man's thigh. A bloated white and pink woman fans herself
as she talks to them. Are they a family? If so -- what kind? Who is father
and who lover?
Have Been Obsessed About
- My weight
- My health
versus my salary
- What the
hell is that smell?
bruises I don't remember getting
- The location
of my watch/wallet/checkbook/purse
poetry and then writing an evaluation of the poet and then copying (by
hand if possible) my favorite poems into a notebook, and then and
only then, returning the library book
ways to look like I'm working
- The blues
- Pink Floyd's
only with black felt-tip pens
all money in my wallet to face forward, heads up,
in order of denomination, smallest to the front
to write a song that sounds like John Lennon
to figure out what I sound like
sound by the good old traditional method of marking and cutting a reel
"Solfogietto" by J.S. Bach as fast as humanly possible
cartoons so detailed in high school that I brought colored pencils
to figure out the postal service's methodology for assigning official
postal abbreviations to the states
- If the
universe ends, what comes after; if it began, what was before?
Garcia ice cream
indeed, determined that the Universe began with Cherry Garcia ice cream
and will most likely end with Cherry Garcia ice cream. Einstein added a
Garcia constant to Special Relativity in 1918, but took it out when he decided
it was "inelegant." The most advanced air superiority fighters use jet turbines
based on Cherry Garcia. Astronomers suspect that Cherry Garcia is the missing
mass (also known as "dark matter"). Cherry Garcia gives your tabletops and
cabinets that special shine. Worship Cherry Garcia at the church of your
choice. Limited time offer, call now; operators are standing by.
(Written online by request at 2 a.m.)
a horny bear; she liked her mate
while eating pears.
I never said she was a normal bear.
Just a horny bear.
And sometimes that's good enough.
was a shy bear. And he liked to get funky
with polkadot monkeys
and make sweet love
in the Jell-O tub.
I never said he was a normal bear
just a horny bear,
and sometimes that's good enough.
met Harvey at an ursine mixer
he had a pitcher
of mead and berry wine
He thought that she was fine.
her share of sexy bears
and Harvey wasn't one of them,
but she was a horny bear
and sometimes that's enough.
whispered in his ear
"Won't you come back to my lair?"
and Harvey wobbled on his feet
and threw up in the shredded meat.
And then they ran outside and got it on.
I never said
it was a sexy song
but at least it was a horny song
and sometimes that's enough.