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Peeled Feet
Why can't I leave my feet alone? At night I pull at dead skin until it
peels to the red fruit below. If I were a child, I'd make myself wear
socks and moisturizing lotion until the problem healed. But I keep doing
it. What's bad is in the morning, the first few minutes of walking on
peeled feet.
Berlin
St.Croix
Snapshots
in Historic Philadelphia
A wide woman in a purple dress with such a big backside that it bounces
and jiggles when she walks. Like two over-inflated balloons. How does
she see herself?
A shiny blonde
teen sitting awkwardly between the spread legs of a caramel-skinned older
man. A young man sits right next to them, one hand intimately resting
on the caramel man's thigh. A bloated white and pink woman fans herself
as she talks to them. Are they a family? If so -- what kind? Who is father
and who lover?
Berlin
St.Croix
Things I
Have Been Obsessed About
- Grades
- My weight
- My health
- Bills
versus my salary
- David
Bowie
- Vampires
- What the
hell is that smell?
- British
comedy
- Mysterious
bruises I don't remember getting
- The location
of my watch/wallet/checkbook/purse
- Michael
Jackson
- Reading
poetry and then writing an evaluation of the poet and then copying (by
hand if possible) my favorite poems into a notebook, and then and
only then, returning the library book
- Purple
- Photography
- Making
lists
- Counting
calories
- Finding
ways to look like I'm working
- The blues
- Chocolate
- Emily
Dickinson
- Pink Floyd's
"The Wall"
- Writing
only with black felt-tip pens
- Arranging
all money in my wallet to face forward, heads up,
in order of denomination, smallest to the front
- Douglas
Adams
- Lucid
dreaming
- Trying
to write a song that sounds like John Lennon
- Trying
to figure out what I sound like
- Editing
sound by the good old traditional method of marking and cutting a reel
of tape
- Playing
"Solfogietto" by J.S. Bach as fast as humanly possible
- Drawing
cartoons so detailed in high school that I brought colored pencils
- Trying
to figure out the postal service's methodology for assigning official
postal abbreviations to the states
- If the
universe ends, what comes after; if it began, what was before?
- Cherry
Garcia ice cream
Alyce
Wilson
Scientists have,
indeed, determined that the Universe began with Cherry Garcia ice cream
and will most likely end with Cherry Garcia ice cream. Einstein added a
Garcia constant to Special Relativity in 1918, but took it out when he decided
it was "inelegant." The most advanced air superiority fighters use jet turbines
based on Cherry Garcia. Astronomers suspect that Cherry Garcia is the missing
mass (also known as "dark matter"). Cherry Garcia gives your tabletops and
cabinets that special shine. Worship Cherry Garcia at the church of your
choice. Limited time offer, call now; operators are standing by.
Jon
Kilgannon
Dr. Doolittle
Funk
(Written online by request at 2 a.m.)
Ursula was
a horny bear; she liked her mate
to masturbate
while eating pears.
I never said she was a normal bear.
Just a horny bear.
And sometimes that's good enough.
Well, Harvey
was a shy bear. And he liked to get funky
with polkadot monkeys
and make sweet love
in the Jell-O tub.
I never said he was a normal bear
just a horny bear,
and sometimes that's good enough.
Well, Ursula
met Harvey at an ursine mixer
he had a pitcher
of mead and berry wine
He thought that she was fine.
She'd seen
her share of sexy bears
and Harvey wasn't one of them,
but she was a horny bear
and sometimes that's enough.
So Ursula
whispered in his ear
"Won't you come back to my lair?"
and Harvey wobbled on his feet
and threw up in the shredded meat.
And then they ran outside and got it on.
I never said
it was a sexy song
but at least it was a horny song
and sometimes that's enough.
Arasa
Stetson
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