Poets' Day

By Erin E. Schmidt

I celebrated Poets’ Day by eating breakfast at my local poet house. A poet house is just like a pancake house but with better coffee.

Poets’ Day (March 1) is a made-up holiday and doesn’t exist outside the Quality Paperback Book Club’s annual calender. But that doesn’t stop me from celebrating Poets’ Day to the fullest. I’d already written out my Poets’ Day cards, trimmed the Poets’ Day tree and opened each one of my Poets’ Day gifts. All that was left was brunch at the Poet House.

There, I heard Lewis Carroll order the seafood omelet with extra oysters.

"We cannot do with more than four," his server responded. "To give a hand to each."

Carroll frowned, and when his omelet came, he complained that the lobster was baked too brown. "I must sugar my hair," he said in frustration. Then he had the server take away the omelet and bring the soup of the evening, beautiful soup, instead.

George Gordon, Lord Byron, said that he wasn’t hungry, but I caught him staring at Emily Dickinson’s waffles. Dickinson led the poets in saying grace in the name of the butterfly, and of the birds, and of the breeze, amen. She washed down her waffles with the sherry which the guest leaves.

Allen Ginsberg let me have a bite of his kosher Zen New Jersey nowhere, howling as he sipped his hot matzo ball soup. Meanwhile, Lawrence Ferlinghetti ate a good deal of spaghetti.

Along came Adrienne Rich, who ordered strong black coffee. It came nestled sensuously between the waitress’s breasts.

Langston Hughes had the raisin toast in the sun but said that it was dried up. Edgar Allan Poe had the toast, as well. His came with cognac and three red roses. When asked if he wanted a side of bacon with that, Poe said, "Nevermore." When the check came, Poe was nowhere to be found.

Oscar Wilde went wild when served his Oscar Meyer wiener. Robert Frost stopped by to watch the powdered sugar fall on my french toast, but he couldn’t stay. "I have promises to keep," he said. "And miles to go before I sleep."

William Shakespeare ordered the turkey dinner and made much ado about stuffing. But all was as he liked it in the end. He washed down his meal with a winter’s ale.

It was impossible to tell what Robert Pinsky wanted for an entree, so we put him in charge of ordering dessert. He chose Basho, banana pudding. It was the perfect ending to the perfect Poets’ Day celebration.