The lifesavers were slapping the water frantically as they swam to him. They were no further than ten feet away, and closing. Gunther stopped his flight and waited for them to reach him so he could ask them just what the emergency was.

It didn’t look like they were going to stop so he pushed himself aside, trying to evade the closest one.

The man twisted around abruptly and locked an arm around Gunther’s neck, wrenching his head painfully. A surprised yelp became a gurgle as water filled Gunther’s lungs.

The other lifesaver started screaming right in his face.

“Don’t worry, sir! Just relax! If you struggle, you’ll drown all of us!”

“Gack!” spluttered Gunther in confusion. “Ack! Heurgle?”

He thrashed around, trying to get the man to loosen his grip. Every time he did manage to take a breath, he would choke on salt water.

“This one’s a German. I can tell... I’ve seen enough of ‘em. Prob’ly doesn’t even know English,” said the voice next to Gunther’s ear as the man’s lock on his throat constricted even tighter.

Gunther managed to reach behind him and pull at his assailant’s cap. It scrunched into his hand, and he pulled it away, along with a handful of hair.

The lifesaver screamed and relinquished his grip when he realized that he wasn’t going to let go.

Gunther kicked away and gulped at the air until he had caught his breath.

“Vot the hell are you doing?” he bellowed.

The lifesaver that had attacked him kept a wary eye as he snatched his cap from the water. His partner attempted a disarming smile at Gunther.

“Ah, you speak English? Good.”

Gunther was furious.

“Off course I speak English, you bastard! Vot is the big idea to drown me?”

The man shot a quick look at his partner. He continued to smile apologetically at Gunther.

“Look, we were just trying to rescue you. You looked like you were having some trouble.”

“I was not haffing trouble!” roared Gunther defensively. “I am a great svimmer!”

The one that attacked him punched at the water.

“You were outside the flags, you stupid Kraut! You could have bloody well drowned!”

Gunther looked around in the air.

“Flag? Vot sort of flag?” he asked suspiciously.

“What flags! Eeeeurgh!” mocked his attacker. His face was very red, and his cap was askew on his head.

“Now, now, Pete,” admonished his counterpart. “What we have here is a simple misunderstanding.”

He looked back at Gunther and continued in the same reasonable tone of voice.

“You see, here in Australia, we have to regulate swimming at the beach very strictly. There have been a few recent incidents where people have drowned and councils, surf clubs, even lifesavers like me and Pete here, have wound up in court because apparently we’ve been negligent. Well, as you can tell, we take our job very seriously. We absolutely have to make sure that everyone swims between the flags.”

The other lifesaver hadn’t settled down much.

“We yelled out, and you didn’t listen, dickhead!”

Gunther didn’t know how to take the story that he’d been fed. Even though this was his first time in Australia, it still seemed preposterous. He’d never heard of anything like it. If anything, it sounded like an American idea.

“So… I must svim between the flags?”

The negotiator smiled and sounded relieved.

“Yes. You’ve got it.”

Gunther was getting tired from treading water for so long. All the fight had burnt out of him and all he wanted to do was get back to shore and get away from the beach.

“Okay. Next time, I will svim between the flags.”

The angry lifesaver started crawling through the water toward him.

“Oh, I’m afraid it’s a bit too late for that, Fritz,” he growled menacingly.

Gunther wearily tried to push himself away from the both of them. His limbs were starting to cramp up, and he knew that he couldn’t stay afloat much longer, not while trying to dodge these two.

The negotiator was starting to advance on him as well.

“We’re going to have to save you, I’m afraid. Just relax and everything will be just fine.”

“I don’t need to be saved,” Gunther pleaded weakly. He really didn’t want to be dragged to shore like some dumkopf tourist that was stupid enough to almost drown. If he got away now, he could make it back by himself.

“We’re the lifesavers, mate,” said the angry one. “I think we should know. It’s what we do.”

Gunther struggled briefly as they clutched him and dunked him under the water. After what seemed like a very long time to all of them, his last breath finally made it to the surface and popped as a bubble.

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