Love of Botany
(continued)
When he said "heart" I had a dim recollection of something
Bonaski had said.
I turned and bolted back to the pod, positively certain that I moved
faster than Solange Bonga-Yong from United West Africa, who won gold and
broke all human records the last summer Olympics. Once I reached the pod,
I hunkered down in the corner in a fetal position to wait for the shaking
to die down. When it finally did, I downed a stiff drink from our very
rationed booze supply, then searched out Bonaski, who was up to her knees
in mud, cutting out square chunks of the stuff to look for God only knew
what.
"Bonaski," I said, and the timber of my voice must have startled
her, for she looked at me keenly.
"You've seen a ghost, Drumm? You look like you're in the last stages
of a terminal illness."
I leaned down and whispered, "There's a man in the woods. He looks
like one of The Three Musketeers."
She put down her trowel and narrowed her eyes. "Drumm, I've not
been certain from the first if you're suited for this job. You need people,
and this is not a people place. I think you're hallucinating. Take a shot
of Vecanol."
I grabbed her arm. "Remember what you said about that guy who said
there was a woman in the woods?"
Bonaski stood up straight. "Oh yeah," she said.
" Well?"
She was silent but her expression, the one used by people when they look
at nut cases, stayed the same.
"What if there really are people in those woods?"
"Drumm," said Bonaski, "if there were sentient aliens
in there, do you really think they would look human? What chance would
there be of that? And even if they looked remotely like us, would any
of them resemble a Musketeer? Clearly, the explanation does not lie in
that direction."
I chewed the inside of my cheek.
She gave me a friendly look. "I like you, Drumm. If I suspected
that you were cracking up, I would not hesitate to save you. You would
find yourself on the next cargosledge or military zip that passed through
here."
A long silence followed while we eyed each other. Finally, I turned and
walked back to my pod, where I stayed for the night and most of the next
day, thinking hard while I stuffed my face. It was not a good idea to
do that, since I was allotted only so much food for the week, but my nerves
needed placating.
By the next afternoon, I'd made up my mind to face whatever was in those
woods. I had not plowed my way through twenty-three years of education
to lose this chance in a million on Edenal. If I classified and studied
the flora and biosystems here for a year or two, I could return and publish
a text that would be used in universities around the world. In addition,
I simply could not let my sponsors down. The fact was, if I did, my professional
name would be lower than the mud Bonaski was digging in.
I gathered my gear and set off for the forest.
The Prirose was especially sweet that day, and I stopped to inhale it
so often that I almost gave up getting anything done. Eventually, I settled
down on my stool, got out my datastore and set to work. Repeatedly, I
looked over my shoulder. A tiny moss-like plant had become the focus of
my attention when I heard the now familiar voice.
"Beautiful women, Valerie, come here."
My sight went dim, and a roar filled my ears. Panic of the first order.
"You must not fear me. What for? I am not injuring you!"
Dreading what I would see, I turned my head so slowly that my neck creaked.
It was him again, the same glorious, ridiculous man in the poet's shirt.
The same tight pants tucked into the same silly pirate boots. Those pants
were indeed so tight that you could see certain of his attributes I need
not mention. His face was serious and charming.
"Who... who are you?" I managed to squeak.
"I told you, Valerie. I am Phylba! I am loving you. I watch you
every day and feel... I feel something so so intense. Yes, I feel it deeper
each day. I am loving you, Valerie!"
I did not move from my position maybe thirty meters away. "What
would a strange human male be doing on this moon? Don't bullshit me now.
I have a trank gun, and I'm not afraid to use it!"
Throughout this interchange, he never moved from his spot. He would nod
his head and wave his hands about, but otherwise, he stayed put.
"Why are you over there?" I asked after a moment.
"This is where I am," he replied.
"Well, you stay there then," I said.
"I am loving you. Why can you not come close?"
Yeah, right. Clearly, he was some kind of hallucination created in my
mind by some unknown and dangerous organism. My suspicions immediately
ran to carnivorous plants. I had seen several specimens on Earth and read
strange folk tales of others. In one particularly horrible story, the
plant draped its tendrils out along the ground, creating what appeared
to be a cool, inviting couch to rest upon in the hot sticky jungle. But
when the hapless victim indulged, the tendrils sprang to life, wrapping
themselves around the prey, then piercing him cruelly with their hidden
spikes. They squeezed out every last drop of his life juices into the
"couch," suddenly turned gaping mouth of the green monster.
I figured this sexy poet could be an Edenal version of same. Because,
other than the different types of breesks, firndles, mawk-mawks, the slithery
things and the bugs, there was no fauna!
I happened to glance down and catch a breesk near my foot, rooting in
the soil. The creatures were unafraid of humans since none had ever hurt
one. However, I was to change their evolution for suddenly and without
thought, I picked the little fellow up and hurled him at the "man."
If he was a carnivorous plant, surely he would opt for a sure meal of
meat. But nothing happened, other than the poor beast smacking the man's
shapely leg and tumbling to the ground.
"Valerie, Valerie!" said Phylba with much sorrow in his voice.
"Why did you do that not kind action? The fal-fal is a harmless love
being. Soft and pleasureful. Thankful, he is unharmed. But you see he
will not approach you now."
"Did you say 'fal-fal'?" I asked him, ignoring his emotional
display. "So that is what breesks are called here?" Then realizing
that I was speaking with a sentient being, I recoiled. Was I creating
this all in my mind? Did this thing truly exist outside of me?
I grew crafty. "Phylba, would you be willing to meet my friend?
If I bring my friend here, would you still be here?"
He was quiet for some time, his expression inscrutable. Finally he said,
"No."
"Why not? Maybe she could come close to you."
"I am not loving your friend. I do not want her."
"Do you even know my friend?"
"The big one? I know her. She has been here looking at holes in
the ground. I only want you."
Now I was the one silent and pondering. If this "man" was a
front for a carnivorous plant, why would he turn down a big juicy morsel
like Bonaski and insist on having me? Unless he preferred smaller morsels
for some reason? More tender, easier to digest the bones?
How about Gosset? He was smaller than I was. "Um," I said,
"I have another friend who is smaller than me. Younger too. Very
tender." If Gosset could only hear this!
The face began to look pouty. "No. I know who you mean. He takes
the fal-fal to do dark things to it."
This whatever-it-was was no dope. I felt I needed to defend Gosset. "No,
he is studying regeneration. The... fal-fal can grow back its limbs. My
friend needs to learn about this so he can help people who have lost their
limbs. It would be better to regenerate instead of using computerized
replacements." I didn't really expect him to understand; I was just
babbling.
He surprised me. "For what the reason, it does not matter. It is
wrong to harm a living being for welfare of another."
